Gloomy Days.

How I wish I could change my feelings now. I'm in a dark hole, trying to find a light. Who should I depend on? Even I dont know what brought me here. I'm confused. Feel like goin away, to a place that nobody cares. Talk to any objects, even they dont reply. I dont wanna depend on friends, I believe I annoy them too much for behaving this way. I should start depending on myself now. Fully. Like last time. Attachment makes it so hard to go back to the old me. For me, going away is the best way to handle it. Probably for a while.

I feel less excitement in everything I do now. Totally. Sometimes I was just faking it in front of everyone that I was happy, tried so hard to cover it from being seen by any of my friends, but I failed. They read me. I can lie to them, but I can't lie to myself. That's why going away from them is a solution.

I'm looking for my real rainbow now. Please come.

There must be somewhere over the rainbow.

Cambodia Trip sudah. Next?

19th - 22nd April 2010, Siem Riep, Cambodia

Watching sunset at Pnom Bakheng, Siem Riep, Cambodia (1st day)

That was the date that I went to Siem Riep, Cambodia with my 2 best friends. Nawal and AJ. At first, I almost called off the plan cos I had to perform in KL with Jeep Jazz Band. But I finally changed my mind and flew off to Cambodia.We stayed in a backpackers lodge called "Palm Garden Lodge House". It's an awesome place. We paid only 20USD per night for 3 person in a room. It's cheap, tambah dengan free internet bila2 ada pc kosong, free breakfast, fre fish spa, kemudahan tuk tuk yang murah dan pemandu Mr. Phal yang amat sabar dengan karenah kami 3 org. and not to forget the Mr. Mao yang banyak bagi idea mana nak pergi kat area Siem Riep. Felt like home. Tambah lagi dgn tempat ni sangat sejuk and surrounded by trees and flowers.. what ever it is.. that place was really a good place to stay and I recommend 100%.

The country was different. Different from Thailand, or Indonesia, or Singapore, or even Malaysia. So many exotic things to see, to taste, or to feel. Angkor Watt was an amazing place to visit. Being the largest religious building in the world, we spent 3 days to finish visiting the place. We laughed, we sang, and mostly we jumped at every stop. It was a tiring journey, but yet exciting and totally amazing.

"Madam, One for One dollar..one for one dollar.." That was the sentence we heard from the kids throughout the journey in Angkor Watt. The place was massive with many other temples inside. I was amazed by the small kids that helped their family to earn money. They were really small. Age 5-11. But they were so determined in persuading us to buy souvenirs like key chains, postcards,books or shirts. They even spoke in English. Yeah, they were good, and worked so hard, and I admired their will power. I was still a baby girl at that age. Manja. But them?

There were so many amazing things happened in our trip. But the most important lesson that I learn was, this trip has strengthen my friendship with Nawal and AJ. Eventhough I met them so seldom, but yet this trip has brought us so closed together. We laughed, we cried, we sang, we acted, we jumped, we were touched, we were amazed by things that we saw, we teased at each other, and mostly we felt happy spending time together. "As long as we're together, shooo shuweeett... " :)

Seriously, I missed u guys so much.Can't wait for our Euro trip next year. 

Till then, I signed off for now.

Love,

-Bitit, Anak badak yang blur-