awkwardly insane 

With just one glance, with just one stare,

You took my breath away,

My heart is melting with your one touch,

It brings me to a different world,

A world like no others..

I’m awkwardly insane,

By the thought of not having you around,

My sleepless night were shadowed by your absence,

Imagining your embrace, imagining your kiss,

 My heart became swollen,

And it was sliced piece by piece when you were gone..

How I wish you were here,

Counting the stars with me,

With a reflection of full moon on the sea,

Reminiscing our beautiful memories,

The night breezes that hug me tightly,

Calling out your name silently..

The hole in my heart is deepened,

Crying out loud but no one could hear,

Nothing in the world would ever understand,

How sick is this love that would never wane..

The touch of your hand awaken me,

With just one glance, with just one stare,

It stroked straight to my deepest soul,

And purely cure my broken feelings..

Now my heart is melting again,

Flowered by the smile of happiness,

And Oh yeah,

The notion of your disappearance,

Was only my foolish imagination,
Cause you are really there,
Sitting right beside and smiling at me...

written by Andy Siti (13 January 2012)

New Year: For reflection or resolutions?

New Year is for us to reflect what we have done in the past, what have u become, what have u achieved, and what you have learnt. On the first day of the New Year, some people wake up to the memories of the last night’s countdown, while for some people, it is just the beginning of yet another day. Talking about New Year and all these things, I asked myself the above questions. What have I done, achieved, become and learnt? I remember when I asked myself 5 years ago, “What can you see yourself in 5 years time?” My answer was, I’m gonna have a stable job, a car, financial freedom etc. I’ve achieved some of those, but when I think back, that answers were damn lame, parochial and superficial. There are things inside me that I’ve not achieved. Very deep and hidden in my soul, which I can’t think of now. 

Most of the times, when we are approaching the New Year or even the first month of the new year, the first thing I ask myself is, What are my resolutions for the year? I asked everyone around me, mostly my besties, what are their new resolutions. Everyone has their own. For me, resolutions help me to navigate through the year, keep me on track, work harder and be disciplined. Despite having all well-planned resolutions, the best-laid plans of men and mice can often go awry due to unforeseen circumstances. As a matter of fact, I don’t keep my promise. Now you know what are exactly my new resolutions. To keep my promises, and whatever I do, I should paddle my own canoe. I’ve learnt a lot these years. A lot. Punctuality, time management, self-reliant, sincerity, honesty, discipline. Some of my good friends might say I’m a hypocrite for writing this, yup yup I learnt these things all these years, but did I exactly absorb everything. No. So here I am, admitting my mistakes, hoping that this year I can be someone better. Better than before.

A habit can turn into a character. So beware of your bad habits.

Just to let things out from the small pea in my head. Happy New Year everyone. :)