Where does my heart go?

I've been with working with this one department in one and only university in Penang. Basically i'm managing cultural event that endorsed by our university. My part are mainly building contacts, public relation work, promote and market our department and at the same time trying to get sponsorship from other companies outside. To get higher KPI or KIP, we are supposed to get as high income as we can and bring it in to our department. 

Well, I've been working for almost 3 months as a cultural officer in this department. I like it sometimes, but most of the times I'm flooded with boredom. Not sure whether it is because of the working environment or my job scope. As usual I'm a bit lost at the moment. Feel that something is pulling me down. My mind and action are not free. I've been told by so many friends to get out of the university. Go out and face the world! But due to my lack of confidence, I pulled back myself. I should have taken the step out to the world long before! I should have done it earlier! This year (2011) is considered my 7 years here. Singing, acting, doing research, representing university in sports day, all that I've done since I stepped in here. I'm pampered by the university, things here are easy to get. Less challenges, the working environment is so laid back, the staff in the department are spoon feed that makes them so lazy to do other task if they are not asked. No initiative at all! My friend told me I was a different person after I worked with this department. I'm pulled down, I have different way of thinking, close-minded, etc. OMG. When I think back, yes, I am! It happened so fast. I dont even know what is pulling me down here. Still looking, still searching.. and still observing.. 

I was a different person last few months, or last few years. I'm not the kind of girl that could just sit and relax. I was energetic person, open-minded,independent and not easily influenced, but it has changed now. What can I do to see myself clearly? I want to go out from this country. That has been in my plan since I was born. I want to go out and face the cruel world. But why am I still here? My friends are going out to chase their dreams. And I'm here left alone. 

Chase your dreams! Wake up! Dont let anyone stop u and pull u down! Be strong! Be brave! and be faithful to yourself! That's in my mind now. And a small part of my heart saying "Andy, you are stupid for not doing it earlier. " Bla... bla.. bla.. But It's never too late for anything. I'll make an improvement on myself. 

You will see it. 

Andy Siti